


georgie said gay rights!

by typical_art_dork



Category: IT, IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: !!!!! light angst bc i like Feelings, F/M, Gc Fic, Group Chat Fic, Group chat, M/M, Pining, Texting, ben and bev are pure and wholesome, chaotic gay energy, eddie will rip your throat out, mike is the gc dad, richie is stupid and eddie is a morosexual, stan is the grouchy mom friend, stan reports Bird Sightings to the group every time he encounters one, text fic, this is a gays only event (beverly and ben are still welcome tho), this is entirely self-indulgent lets gooo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:42:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typical_art_dork/pseuds/typical_art_dork
Summary: yikes-its-mike: that's just a picture of georgie holding a sign that says "bill does what he wants" i'm sorry but it's just not gonna cut itfather bill: Fuck Please Im Crying,,,,,yikes-its-mike: *slides permit back to you* sir you're gonna need to provide an actual legitimate form of--father bill: (Sobs) PLEASE ACCEPT MY PERMIT IT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT,,,,, God I'm Begging Youbevvie: ,,,,,,,bevvie: alright what the shit is going onfather bill: This Does Not Conern You Beverlybitch boy: conernfather bill: Shut Your Mouth You Degenerate Scumwheezy: ,,,,,, so on that note!!wheezy: im going to sleep
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 23
Kudos: 243





	1. bill's permit is invalid

frog and cranberries it must be fall, 1:03 a.m.

mother hen: Okay fuckers, which one of you let Richie watch the Emoji Movie again?

mother hen: I Know Someone Did. He's sending me audio revordings of himself reading the script line by line. 

bevvie: 1) revordings 2) this is so ominous im s c a r e d

bevvie: 3) ...... r e v o r d i n g s

mother hen: S T O P

wheezy: he's sending them to me too

wheezy: i fucking hate this family

bitch boy: :( 

bevvie: oh no sweetie!!! 

bitch boy: also bill sent me a link to a pirated version of it >:)

wheezy: !!! BILL im GOING to kill you

yikes-its-mike: hi yes this is all fine and good but Why is this Particular Development occurring at One In The Fucking Morning

bevvie: bc richie was messaging everyone,,,,,

bitch boy: ello govnah, just got done w my bi-weekly rendezvous w eds' mum & was in the mood to send everyone a quick message chap xx

wheezy: id like to revoke my previous message

wheezy: im not going to kill bill

wheezy: im going to Slaughter richie

bitch boy: kinky! 

mother hen: Richie I'm going to hire someone off the dark web to break your fucking knees with a tire iron if you don't stop sending the FUCKING emoji movie script!!

wheezy: double exclamation point?? fuckin uh-oh rich

yikes-its-mike: the fact that That was the part of stan's message that concerned you is honestly horrifying

wheezy: alright valid,,,

bitch boy: its okay i welcome the sweet embrace of the abyss ;)

wheezy: take your prozac, dumbass 

bevvie: hhh

father bill: I Had To, Stan

father bill: The Demonic Bitch Threatened Me With Blackmail

bevvie: bill for the love of all that is holy BLEASE change your username you sound like a pope

father bill: Absolutely Not

bitch boy: thats right i Did threaten you & if you say anything else ill Expose You Right Here Right Now

wheezy: ???!! what the fuck

bennyboy: please let me sleep :(

bevvie: oh honey!! mute it!!! 

bennyboy: .......howmst? 

bevvie: ft me ill explain <3

bennyboy: thank you bev!! <3

bitch boy: V O M I T

wheezy: oh, shut the fuck up richie

wheezy: at least they genuinely love each other & dont dance around their feelings with trashy humor

bevvie: HHSNSBSHJ E D D I E

mother hen: Oh, this is good.

father bill: Holy Shit

yikes-its-mike: eddie is........ Self Aware???? 

bitch boy: im sorry WHAT edward

wheezy: call me that again and ill run you over with mikes pickup truck you irrelevant possum

bevvie: HEJNSJS IM LOSING IT EDDIE ARE YOU GOOD

wheezy: goodnight 

mother hen: Wait. I think the real question here is why Richie was up at one a.m...

father bill: An Excellent Point

bitch boy: consider this: ,,,,,,, im insomnia

bennyboy: don't you mean you HAVE insomnia??

bevvie: no he IS insomnia, babe.

bitch boy: im 

wheezy: jesus christ rich we've been OVER THIS

bevvie: "goodnight" my ass

father bill: The Aggression,,,

wheezy: TAKE. YOUR. MELATONIN. YOU. ILLITERATE. FUCK. 

yikes-its-mike: i'm sorry take his WHAT

yikes-its-mike: oH my apologies i thought u said melanin

bevvie: HJSNSBSH MIKE

bitch boy: wow eds u really care about me, huh?? <3 :) 

wheezy: ,,

wheezy: no i just want you to stop freaking spamming us past midnight you chaotic bastard

bevvie: the hesitation speaks volumes!! 

bevvie: ,,

yikes-its-mike: ,,

father bill: ,,

mother hen: ,,

wheezy: S H U T

bitch boy: awwww i love you too eds!!! 

father bill: "Don't Call Me That"

bevvie: dont call me that!!

yikes-its-mike: don't call me that

wheezy: dont call me that

wheezy: hey what the hell!!? 

mother hen: They simultaneously used all their remaining brainpower (.02%) to send those messages at the exact same time. Impressive. 

mother hen: With that being said, I'm going to sleep and SO SHOULD THE REST OF YOU IDIOTS.  
  
mother hen has muted the chat

wheezy: the only thing thats been said tonight that i can get behind

bitch boy: u know what i can get behind? 

wheezy: BEEP BEEP ASSHOLE

bitch boy: eddie's m o m

wheezy has removed bitch boy from the chat

bevvie has added bitch boy to the chat

father bill: Not This Again,,,

wheezy has removed bitch boy from the chat

bevvie has added bitch boy to the chat

bitch boy has changed the chat name to 'betrayed by my own lover'

wheezy: die

bevvie: eddie youre hurting his feeling

bitch boy: My One Emotion,,,,, Destroyed

father bill: What's Your One Emotion??

bitch boy: gay panic

bevvie: mine is bisexual rage!!

wheezy: 1. i don't care richard 2. mine is hypochondria

yikes-its-mike: but..... none of those are actual emotions?? 

father bill: The Man Has A Point

bevvie: im literally Begging you to stop typing like that bill my eyes are Bleeding

father bill: The Hypocrite Judges Me,,,,,, Laughable

bevvie: im sorry b i t c h

bevvie: i dont capitalize every fucking word, thats entirely different

wheezy: stop coming for richie's brand bill it doesn't suit you

father bill: I Do What I Want I Have A Permit

father bill: permit.jpeg

bitch boy: GEROGIE

bevvie: g e r o g i e

bevvie: richie im crying

yikes-its-mike: that's just a picture of georgie holding a sign that says "bill does what he wants" i'm sorry but it's just not gonna cut it

father bill: Fuck Please Im Crying,,,,,

yikes-its-mike: *slides permit back to you* sir you're gonna need to provide an actual legitimate form of--

father bill: (Sobs) PLEASE ACCEPT MY PERMIT IT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT,,,,, God I'm Begging You

bevvie: ,,,,,,,

bevvie: alright what the shit is going on

father bill: This Does Not Conern You Beverly

bitch boy: conern

father bill: Shut Your Mouth You Degenerate Scum 

wheezy: ,,,,,, so on that note!!

wheezy: im going to sleep

\--

betrayed by my own lover, 9:24 a.m.

wheezy: hey does anyone know where richie is??

mother hen: Unfortunately, yes. He called this morning and told me he's skipping today. 

wheezy: hhhHNG AGAIN??!

wheezy: that's the third time in two weeks????!!!! chee what the fuck

bitch boy: sorry eddie spaghetti :( the urge to rebel,,,,,, its in my blodd

bevvie: blodd

father bill: blodd

yikes-its-mike: blodd

mother hen: Blodd

bennyboy: blodd

wheezy: blodd

bitch boy: 1. im feeling so attacked rn holy shit 2. how does one.,,,,,,, uninstall emotions????

wheezy: oh i know this!!! 

wheezy: first go to settings! 

father bill: Eddie What The Fuck

wheezy: O H

wheezy: i thought he said emojis,,,, f

bevvie: f

father bill: f

bennyboy: f

bitch boy: guys i'm being serious for once

yikes-its-mike: f

yikes-its-mike: o h

bitch boy: mmm yeah none of this is helping rn

bitch boy has left the chat

mother hen: DAMMIT I knew something was wrong!!

wheezy: shit shit shit 

bevvie has added bitch boy to the chat

bitch boy has left the chat

bevvie has added bitch boy to the chat

bitch boy: not right now beverly 

bitch boy has left the chat

wheezy: HSHDJHDHHFUCKINH FUCK

mother hen: "Beverly" 

mother hen: I'm... even more worried now.

wheezy: alright who wants to skip with me and track him down??

bevvie: let's not overreact just yet,,,

wheezy: if he leaves the chat it's bad bev!!

bevvie: okay sorry i just dont wanna freak him out more?? 

father bill: Okay, everyone just calm down. It's gonna be fine. I'm calling him rn. If he doesn't pick up Mike can start looking since he's out of school today (if you're not too sick Mikey). 

yikes-its-mike: of course i will!! it's just a cold but i milked it to get out of class since i have to finish mrs meyers' essay. 

wheezy: call him now i'm in class so i can't

father bill: On it! 

wheezy: what's he saying???

wheezy: bill

mother hen: Hey, just take a breather Eddie. Seriously. Meet me outside I know you're in econ right now. 

wheezy: he's fucking having a depressive episode or smth again i just know it f u c k

wheezy: he's been getting worse since the anniversary of You Know What

wheezy: it's been gradual but he's been coming over at night after nightmares every couple of days since august

wheezy: i'm so scared i should've said something sooner and god knows where the fucker even IS

father bill: He answered. 

bevvie: and??

father bill: Um,

wheezy: billy

father bill: Everyone meet me outside. 

wheezy: what the hell happened? 

father bill: Just ask to go to the bathroom. 

wheezy: i can't 

wheezy: i'm in wilson's class she doesn't allow restroom breaks

father bill: Fuck,,

father bill: Okay I'll just say it here.

father bill: He's living in the clubhouse. He came out to his parents last week and they kicked him out with nothing except for his backpack and a week's worth of clothes. 

father bill: He needs us. 

mother hen: Wait wait wait

mother hen: "Came out"??

bevvie: oh come on staniel

bevvie: we all kinda knew, right?

bevvie: also mY poor bAby iM goIng tO fiGHt sOmeonE

wheezy: ????!!!!!! 

father bill: He told me he was bi a couple months ago. I just figured... sorry guys. 

yikes-its-mike: holy shit

yikes-its-mike: i'm going to actually kill his parents?? can't believe richie's finally awakened homicidal tendencies in me

bennyboy: oh god,, poor rich :((

wheezy: FUCK

wheezy: WHY DIDN'T HE TELL US SOONER FUCKING??!!! I COULD'VE LET HIM STAY WITH ME WHAT THE HHSHSH

bevvie: eddie,,, 

bevvie: sweetie it's okay

wheezy: i'm really gonna cry in class bc of this idiot

\--

eds >> trashmouth, 10:03 a.m.

eds: richie 

eds: why didn't you say something sooner?

trashmouth: i dunno....,,,,, i was embarrassed i guess, and some of you didnt know im bi,, and i was scared

trashmouth: does this change anything??

eds: what?!! of course not oh my god!

eds: richie,,, i'm literally gay.

trashmouth: ........ oh?? 

eds: yeah dumbass i told everyone at movie night last july??!

trashmouth: holy fuck

trashmouth: i mustve been asleep because i definitely wouldve remembered that... 

eds: so we're good? 

trashmouth: hmm let me think it over,,,

eds: you idiot oh my god

eds: so you still need someplace to stay i'm guessing??

trashmouth: yep,,, bill said im welcome to stay with him & they have a guest room, so...

eds: oh. oh, yeah, that's perfect actually! 

trashmouth: eds... 

trashmouth: you know you wouldve been my first choice. this is just more convenient bc bills mom isnt an Actual Maniac & they have room for me. 

trashmouth: you know youre my favorite, right?

eds: oh. uh,,, really??? 

trashmouth: yeah. now get back to doing ur work before wilson murders you,,, i bet shes missing me right abt now ;)

eds: oh no. definitely not.

eds: but we love you chee. 

richie: Stop,,,,.,,,,...,, My Heart,,, Is Going To Implode

eds: dork <3

\--

bevbev >> wtf richard, 10:15 a.m.

bevbev: sweetheart

bevbev: please tell me you're okay we were so scared

wtf richard: im fine bevvie <3 really

wtf richard: so everyones okay with...??

bevbev: of course. it changes nothing. we love you so much richie <3

wtf richard: dammit bev

wtf richard: im gonna cry for like the third time today

bevbev: nooo :( <3

bevbev: also mikey and staniel are plotting the most efficient & safe way to murder your parents without getting caught

bevbev: we're so upset for you honey

bevbev: you should've told us sooner

wtf richard: 1) "safe way to murder" 2) i know im sorryy i was scared

bevbev: i want to hug u so bad rn

bevbev: im skipping!!

bevbev: you still in the clubhouse?

wtf richard: yes :)

wtf richard: tysm bevvie <3 <3 <3

bevbev: don't thank me i'm gonna cryyy

\--

staniel the maniel >> dickhead, 10:21 a.m.

staniel the maniel: Hey, Rich. Just wanted to let you know that as much as you annoy the living daylights out of me, I'm always always here for you. You mean so much to us and we'll never leave you. 

dickhead: !!!!!!! hi im going to start sobbing again

dickhead: ilysm stan youre such a good friend

staniel the maniel: Don't go all soft on me, douchebag. 

staniel the maniel: But seriously. How are you? What can we do to help?

dickhead: jeez,,, the aggression

staniel the maniel: Rich.

dickhead: fine okay im,,, not great atm

dickhead: obviously

dickhead: but im gonna be staying with bill now which is like a million times better than my last living situation so im not awful or anything. all you guys can do is just keep being supportive, it's no biggie. thank you so much for being the kind of friends i can come to abt this stuff <3 <3 

staniel the maniel: Don't mention it, bud. 

dickhead: ily stanny <3!!!!!!

staniel the maniel: Gross.

staniel the maniel: Love you too, asshole. 

\--

betrayed by my own lover, 4:23 p.m.

father bill: !!!!!

father bill: richieandgeorgie.jpeg

bevvie: AAAAAA MY HEART!!!!

bennyboy: pure!! wholesome!! skin-clearing!!!!

bitch boy: im!!!!!!!!! so happy oh my  
god hshshjsj

wheezy: aww that's adorable! i'm so happy you have somewhere nice to stay chee <3

bevvie: .....could it be?!! after all these years.........??!!!

yikes-its-mike: soft eddie?! 

father bill: Soft Eddie Emerges!

wheezy: WAIT NO,,

mother hen: Funny how Soft Eddie only makes an appearance when Richie is the subject of the conversation...

bevvie: HHHH STANIEL

bitch boy: awww eds!! u Love me!!!

bitch boy has changed wheezy's  
name to softie

softie: all of you Go Choke

bevvie: and just like that........ Hewas Gone

bennyboy: hewas

father bill: Hewas

yikes-its-mike: hewas

bevvie: attacked by my own family,,, the slander! the mockery! 

bevvie has changed softie's name to wheezy

wheezy: thank u bevvie

wheezy: my Only Friend

father bill: Oh, So Mlm Solidarity Means Nothing To You? I See How It Is.

bitch boy: me when mr conrad yelled at me for disrupting class to ask how his husband was doing

bevvie: HHNSNSGS I REMEMBER THAT SO VIVIDLY,,, 

bevvie: richie- so mr. conrad,,,,, how's ur hubby!! :) 

mr. conrad- please be quiet richie i haven't had my morning coffee--

richie- oh :) im sorry sir :)) did ur husband not have enough time to make it--

mr. conrad, slamming his fist down on his keyboard: PLEASE STOP TALKING YOU MINDLESS PARASITE

bevvie: god it was so terrible,,,

bevvie: needless 2 say the marriage was actually failing

bennyboy: OH NO 

bitch boy: n o t my proudest moment

father bill: Richie: H-  
Mr. Conrad: [Absolutely Raging]

mother hen: BIRD SIGHTING 

mother hen: BIRD SIGHTING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW

bevvie: yyyyyyeeeeeSSSSSSS 

mother hen: hummingbird.jpeg

mother hen: This is one for the books! 

yikes-its-mike: ooh she's so pretty!! 

mother hen: Name suggestions?

bennyboy: name her beverly <3

bevvie: hi hello 911 yes my bf just caused my heart to explode into a million butterflies inside my chest and theyre escaping rapidly thru my esophagus and invading the town theyre poisonous theyre killing townspeople oh god oh fuck--

father bill: Bev What The Whole Fuck

bennyboy: yeah that started off sweet and i was like :) aww <3 but now im like ???!!! aaaaaaaa

wheezy: me when richie starts to compliment me but then makes it abt my mom

bevvie: SHSGSJAVJAAKAK 

father bill: Oh My God Eddie

bitch boy: ???!!! ex c u s e

bitch boy: i demand to know when ive Ever done this!

yikes-its-mike: yesterday. cafeteria. interior, day. 

eddie: that photo bill sent of georgie last night was sooo cuuute--

richie: yeah! almost as cute as eddie...

richie: 's mom!!! 

eddie: [slams pudding cup down in pure unbridled rage & sends pudding flying everywhere]

mother hen: Richie you pull that shit all the time. Don't deny it. 

mother hen: Also I love than Mike narrated that like it was a play. Storytelling at its finest. 

yikes-its-mike: :)) thanks stan! 

bevvie: not 2 interrupt this Pure Moment,, but

bevvie: has anyone else seen henry bowers' tiktok account?

wheezy: nnnnnnnnOOOOOO 

wheezy: BEVERLY MARSH DO NOT INVITE THE ANTICHRIST INTO THIS SANCTUARY IM BEGGING YOU

yikes-its-mike: ...so i'm guessing you've shown eddie

bevvie: in study hall last week >:)

wheezy: I Will Never Recover

bitch boy: bev why would u corrupt him?!

bitch boy: poor eddie spaghetti :( <3

wheezy: i will tear you limb from limb if you Ever address me in that way again you bow-legged frog man 

bevvie: ^^he was already corrupted exhibit a

mother hen: If you send Bowers' tiktoks here I will leave this chat forever Bev. I swear to God. 

father bill: Do Not Do It Do Not Do It Do Not Do It

bevvie: holy shit okay 

bevvie: im laughing so hard the pure Panic that caused--

bennyboy: bev i love you but if u ever send henry bowers' tiktoks here ill have to file for divorce :)

bitch boy: HJSNSJSK

father bill: GUYS

father bill: GEORGIE JUST WENT DOWN THE STAIRS ON RICHIE'S MATTRESS FROM THE GUEST ROOM I DONT KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING 

bitch boy: FUN IS WHATS HAPPENING BIG BILL

father bill: thisidiot.mov

bevvie: HSJJSHS RICH

bevvie: THEYRE SO CHAOTIC

yikes-its-mike: the sheer joy in both their faces as they fly down the stairs on that mattress.... Beautiful and Wholesome

father bill: GEORGIE ALMOST FELL OFF BUT RICHIE SAVED HIM AHSJSHSJ DO I CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR OR NOT??!

wheezy: ???!!!!! i reeeeaaaally don't trust richie but it looks & sounds like they have it under control?? 

father bill: Hhhhhh

father bill: They're Both Asking To Bake Brownies Now

father bill: So Whomst Wants To Come Over And Help??

bevvie: 1) me 2) STOP TYPING LIKE THAT

father bill: Never.


	2. oompa loompas and sleep deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay love confessions ensue.

betrayed by my own lover, 3:02 a.m.

bitch boy: so how does eveyone feel abt thomas the tank engine?? 

bitch boy: This Is Very Important

bitch boy: hhfjhdjs i just remembered that meme thats like,,,, "thomas had never seen such bullshit before" 

bitch boy: reminds me of my internal monologue when i see greta @ school with her fuckin,,, 2015 tumblr girl eyeliner

wheezy: what the FUCK

bevvie: ...... its three in the morning richie

bevvie: also,,, "eveyone"

bennyboy: why am i getting notifs rn??? richie are you alright? 

wheezy: RICHIE IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU

MY PHONE KEEPS HENSHSJ GOING OFF AND MY MOM IS GONNA BURST INTO MY ROOM IF YOU DONT SHUT THE HELL UP 

father bill: I Have Been Alerted To A Crisis By One (1) Small Georgie Denbrough

father bill: He Said, And I Quote,

bevvie: please stop fucking texting like that bill i swear to g o d

father bill: "Richie Is Laughing Hysterically In The Guest Room And It Woke Me Up From My Dream About Willy Wonka"

bevvie: nvm anger revoked since u supplied us with georgie content <3

father bill: That's What I Thought Beverly Marsh :) 

bevvie: hhHhhh STOP CALLIGN ME THAT

bennyboy: alrighty,,, i'm gonna hit the hay now <3

bennyboy: hope richie is mentally sound :/ 

bennyboy has muted the chat

bevvie: nnnnnooooooo 

bitch boy: dont worry bevvev u still have Me!!!! !!!!!! !! :))

bevvie: what the fuck did you just call me

bitch boy: im so sorry dearest i meant 2 type bevbev but my body acted of its own accord ;))

wheezy: ew why did you word it that way,,

bevvie: Yeah I...... Dont Like That

father bill: Burn The Hypocrite

bevvie: THAT WAS ONE TIME YOU SMUG BITCH

father bill: You Are A Walking Contradiction And One Day You Will Regret Ever Smiting Me.

mother hen: I'm going to kill everyone in this cursed group chat if you don't shut the fresh hell up RIGHT NOW. I have two exams in APUSH and HN Physics tomorrow and I'm NOT going to jeopardize that because our resident ADHD lizard brain can't pipe down for a solid eight hours every night. 

mother hen has muted the chat

wheezy: alright what the fuck

wheezy: why's he being so Mean

bevvie: edward,,,, u literally just told richie u were going to murder him

wheezy: it was a JOKE

wheezy: stan was too harsh!! 

bitch boy: nah i think the real problem here is that i woke up georgie from his willy wonka dream :(( 

father bill: He Forgives You, It Was A Nightmare About The Oompa Loompas Trying To Murder Him. 

bitch boy: it be like that sometimes

wheezy: richie is the oompa loompas & everyone in this chat is georgie

bevvie: HEHJSHJ EDDIE I JUST SPIT OUT MY POWERADE

yikes-its-mike: wow, i have... a lot to catch up on

yikes-its-mike: 1. why is everyone awake right now?? you can just mute this chat??? 2. poor stan let him sleep 3. is georgie okay?? that sounds Traumatic

bevvie: didnt mute bc i know richie will inevitably text at a Chaotic Ungodly Hour and honestly i just wanna be here for whatever bullshit he's spouting 

bitch boy: she knows me So Well,,, 

bevvie: <3

father bill: I Unmuted It Yesterday Because I Wanted To Be Active In The Chat And I Forgot To Mute It Again

father bill: & Yes Georgie Is Fine :) He And Richie And I Are Now Watching Parks And Rec Since None Of Us Can Sleep

wheezy: ,,,,,,,,,, adorable

wheezy: & i didnt mute it because i just didnt feel like it :/ do we need a reason for everything micholas? 

yikes-its-mike: no, but your defensive reaction has definitely made u suspicious >:) 

wheezy: shit

bevvie: oooooh what is it eddie??!

bitch boy: Leave My Man Alone

father bill: Richard Tozier If This Is An Attempt To Steal My Brand I'll Have You Know This Will Only Be A Losing Battle For You :) 

bevvie: loving eddie is bill's brand??

father bill: I Meant The Capitalization And You Know It, You Foole

wheezy: hhhndndjsjk

wheezy has muted the chat

bevvie: no not my son too!! 

bevvie: forst my husband,,,,, Now myson,,,,,!!! the groef i feel is Unparalleled!!!! 

father bill: 1. "Forst" 2. "Groef" 

bevvie: I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT AND PULL YOUR INTESTINES OUT THROUGH THE INCISION YOU ATROCIOUS MONGREL

yikes-its-mike: ........

yikes-its-mike: night night everyone!

\--

betrayed by my own lover, 8:23 a.m.

bitch boy: guys i thibk my sledp depriviatiob is fibalky catchinf up to me im so tired

bitch boy: he's too sleepy to correct any of that so now he's forcing me to type everything he says as we're on the bus -bev

father bill: Never Have I Been More Grateful To Have My Own Car

bitch boy: he says go choke on a cactus -bev

father bill: Wow A Legend

father bill: I Would If I Could, Richard

bennyboy has unmuted the chat

bennyboy: oh my

bitch boy: sweetheartttt!!! 

bennyboy: ???!!!!

bitch boy: i love you sm honey! did you sleep well?? 

bennyboy: WH A T

father bill: HJSHSJS BENNY SCROLL UP 

bitch boy: OH GOD OH FUCK 

bitch boy: THSI IS BEV RICHIE GAVE ME HIS PHONE

bennyboy: i cant stop laughing

bennyboy: that alarmed me SO much at first

wheezy has unmuted the chat

wheezy: jesus christ

wheezy: chee i'm begging you please get some actual sleep

bitch boy: he says he loves you but thats """simply unrealistic""" -bev

father bill: Bevvie You Don't Have To Keep Signing Your Name

father bill: We All Know Richie's Texting Style & Although Your Aesthetic Is Similar Your Voices Are Definitely Not

bitch boy: okay :)) 

mother hen has unmuted the chat

mother hen: That's strangely ominous...

bitch boy: what no this is bev!!!

wheezy: damn i dont know what to believe now

good going staniel

yikes-its-mike: richie would have typed a winky face emoticon after that text. it's bev.

bitch boy: im took myphone bacj andim stilk tired but i cabt go to sleep bc were almsot at shcool ;))) end my life

yikes-its-mike: there he is! 

bennyboy: shcool

father bill: That's How He Spelled It From Kindergarten To Second Grade... I Wish I Was Joking. 

father bill: Also,, Richie I Can Get My Parents To Check You Out Early. You Need To Sleep!! 

wheezy: please rich,,

wheezy: we can skip and go out to the bleachers and you can put your head in my lap & take a nap. 

bevvie: HSJSHSJSKK SOFT EDDIE IS BACK!!!!! BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!!!

bennyboy: aww eddie that's so sweet!!

bitch boy: really??

wheezy: yes <3

father bill: When Is The Wedding I Want Best Man

mother hen: Fat chance. I've earned that title, Billiam.

wheezy: oh, screw off you idiots

bennyboy: i'm sure both of you would be wonderful CO-best men :))

yikes-its-mike: it's him he would get it^

bevvie: HHH MIKEY YOURE RIGHT

bevvie: I LVOE MY HUSBAND SM HE IS SO PURE AND KIND <3 

father bill: Oh Shit You Right

mother hen: "Lvoe"...

wheezy: chee are you here yet??

bitch boy: jsut rolled up :)

wheezy: meet me by the bleachers in five, moron <3

bitch boy: ok eds!! thabj you <3 <3

bevvie: hi hello yes 911 im going to start SOBBING due to how soft and beautiful my friends are,,,

father bill: Me But When Georgie Does Anything

bennyboy: hard same bill

wheezy: ive got the crackhead 

wheezy: richiesleeping.jpeg

father bill: Thank You For Your Service, Eddie.

mother hen: Oh, I'm sure he doesn't mind :)

bevvie: JHSKSK STAN

wheezy: what the hell is tht supposed 2 mean

bevvie: also eddie is your hand in richie's hair??!

wheezy: ......

wheezy: fuck

bevvie: it IS :D

bevvie: u should've cropped that photo u little casanova!! 

father bill: What A Development!! I Have To Go To Algebra II But We Must Reconvene About This Later.....

wheezy: PLEASE NO

wheezy: THERW WAS A BUG INHIS HAIR I WAS HELPINF HIM

yikes-its-mike: eddie it's okay :( he won't care! 

wheezy: he's going to see this & freak out guys

wheezy: is there any way to delete individual messages??? 

bevvie: oh honey :( dont worry abt it!! 

bitch boy: im am awakenedhdjdkkj

bitch boy: hsjsnsbshkklk ck jjpln

mother hen: ...Did Eddie kill him?? 

bevvie: rich??? 

bitch boy: i took his phone i'm literally panicking i don't know what to dooo holy shit bev help!!!

bevvie: FUCk okay its gonna be fine sweetie,,, i know you dont believe it but he loves you to pieces (YES in That Way) and hes not gonna care that u were being Soft while he was asleep in ur lap 

bevvie: just let him see it he's gonna be tickled if anything!! 

mother hen: Normally I wouldn't agree with Bev because I feel like I need to be the voice of reason, but she's actually right. Like, 100 percent. You don't need to be worried about anything, Eddie. Rich really likes you and we all know it. 

bennyboy: hey guys whats an asymptote? 

bennyboy: oh,,,

bennyboy: OH HECK YES

bennyboy: THIS IS MY DEPARTMENT I CAN FINALLY GIVE EDDIE ADVICE!!! 

bitch boy: hhh okay?? 

bennyboy: eddie, it's obvious richie likes you. it has been since we were 13. the reason he makes all those jokes about you being cute and all is because he actually DOES think you're cute, so he deflects those feelings with humor. that's what he does with everything. he really does love you, probably even more than you love him. 

mother hen: An asymptote is a line that continually approaches a given curve but does not meet it at any finite distance.

bennyboy: that doesn't help me at all but thanks for trying stan!! :) 

mother hen: Dammit. 

bevvie: benny ilysm youre so wise and wholesome,,, god <3

bennyboy: aww!!! ilyt bevvie <3

bitch boy: thank you guys <333

bitch boy: alright,,

bitch boy: i'm giving him his phone back wish me luck assholes :(( 

bitch boy: alright what the whole fuck

bitch boy: why did eds hijack my phone??

father bill: I Am Free From The Shackles Of Rational Equations, Lunch Here I Come!!!

bevvie: 1. scroll up richie <3 2. hEck i forgot you had c lunch too billy, im omw to the caf now :)) 

bitch boy: hhhHjkkshiGSJAHSJ

bitch boy: EDDIE KASPBRAK DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM ME!!!!!

bevvie: HHSHSJ W H A T

bitch boy: EDS JUST TOOK OFF

ABSOLUTELY Z O O M I N 

bitch boy: im scrolling up im scrolling up,,,,

bitch boy: oh

bitch boy: O H ?????????

father bill: I Can Just See The Elation On His Stupid Face

bevvie: same i love this,,,

\--

trashmouth >> eds, 9:03 a.m.

trashmouth: eddie eddie eddie eddie

eds: jesus christ WWHAT

trashmouth: !!!!!! thank god you answered

trashmouth: so um

trashmouth: i really love you in a not-platonic way and i know i annoy the shit out of you but everyone else seems to think differently??? 

eds: wh a t

trashmouth: everyone in the gc seemed to think you... like me??

eds: no the other thing, dumbass!!!

trashmouth: ohh

i love you? 

eds: jdhjshsjs

eds: if this is a prank I Do Not Appreciate It

trashmouth: w h a t no!!! 

trashmouth: I! LOVE! YOU!

eds: WHAT! THE! FUCK! 

eds: I LOVE YOU TOO IDIOT

trashmouth: HHHWHAT THE FUCK

eds: I KNOW??!!!!

trashmouth: DO YOU WANNA LIKE HDHDJJS 

trashmouth: sorry god im freaking out and having caps lock on is making me sound like a lunatic,,

do you wanna be my boyfriend?

eds: hhhhhh im gonna start crying

eds: of course i do <3

trashmouth: holy shit <3

eds: so,,, im in the prep building rn if you were looking for me? 

trashmouth: perfect im omw :') <333

eds: dear g o d ive gotta tell bill! 

trashmouth: hsjjsjs i have 2 tell bev!!!! 

\--

wtf richard >> bevbev, 9:15 a.m.

wtf richard: EDDIE IS MY BF EDDIE IS MY BF

bevbev: GAHSJSJKSJAKK Y E S !!!!!!

bevbev: MY BABIESSS IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU <3333

wtf richard: WE'RE JUST HOLDING EACH OTHER IN AN EMPTY CLASSROOM AND HES RAMBLING ABT HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF ALTERNATE UNIVERSE DID I WAKE UP IN????!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY RN

wtf richard: I LOVE HIM SO MUCH :''')))

bevbev: HONEYYY IM GOING TO CRYYY

\--

betrayed by my own lover, 10:05 a.m.

bitch boy: withthebf.jpeg

father bill: Fucking Finally! I'm So Happy For You Guys!!! 

bevvie: yyyyyeeeSSSSS

mother hen: They actually got their shit together... wow. 

bitch boy has changed the chat name to 'shut up staniel' 

mother hen: Oh, very mature.

mother hen: But in all seriousness, congrats guys!! 

wheezy: i did not agree to this i dont know this boy hes holding me hostage in the prep building if this message gets out please call the plolicegjsksksk

bevvie: oh my god richie killed him!!! 

bennyboy: no he didn't i just walked past the classroom they're in on my way to computer tech and they're making out :/

yikes-its-mike: 1) congrats richie and eddie!!! 2) HJSHSJSK POOR BEN 

bevvie: NO MY BABY <4

father bill: <4

mother hen: <4

yikes-its-mike: <4 

bevvie: S T A Y B A C K S L U T S 

mother hen: So now that Richie is... preoccupied, 

father bill: E w

mother hen: I'm guessing Bev is taking over his role as chaotic evil of this chat? 

bevvie: im sorry yall its my solemn duty :|

bennyboy: that face conveys So Much Pain... :( <3

bevvie: its okay darling i accept my fate

father bill: "Y'all"

father bill: Also, Georgie Has Been Begging Me To Invite Everyone Over For A Sleepover Again, And It's Friday, So... Movie Night Tonight? 

bennyboy: YES!!!!

bevvie: HELL YEAH GEORGIEEE

mother hen: That would be great! Just please don't let Richie pick the movie!!

father bill: Don't Worry, Staniel. It's Bev's Turn Anyway. 

bevvie: nooo let mike pick!! he wasn't there last time & bill picked instead! 

yikes-its-mike: thank you bev!! 

father bill: Pure!!!

bitch boy: hewwo im bacc >:3 

mother hen has removed bitch boy from the chat

wheezy: good. 

\--


	3. georgie's underground communist revival club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the icarly theme song absolutely SLAPPED ok

shut up staniel, 1:14 a.m.

mother hen has changed the chat name to 'existence is a prison' 

father bill: Firstly, I'd Like To Clarify That I'm Only Awake Because Richie Is Currently Blasting The Monsters Inc. Theme Song And I Can't Stop Him Because He Barricaded His Door. 

father bill: Secondly,

father bill: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AWAKE

bevvie: d a m n billy

bevvie: rich is really making you lose your grip on reality, huh??

bitch boy: this is my sad playlist

bitch boy: ten hours of the most annoying song known to man on loop :) maximizing the agony im feeling helps me wallow more efficiently! 

father bill: What The Fuck

bevvie: richie sweetheart light of my life please seek help

bevvie: also!!!

bevvie: staniel WHY are you up

mother hen: APUSH Document-Based Question. Studying up for tomorrow. Crying. 

bevvie: honey nooo :(

wheezy: 1) stan pls go to sleep studying won't help when u go comatose in the middle of the exam 2) richie are you okay?? like is this a joke or are you actually upset???

bitch boy: nah im good i just like messing with bill ;)

father bill: HHHHHHHHHHH

bevvie: congratulations. you broke him. 

mother hen: Should I mix espresso and monster energy??

bevvie: BABY N O !!??!!!

wheezy: absolutely NOT!!!

bitch boy: stan the man,,, this is what the worldwide web is for,,,,,

bitch boy: but no!! you should Not!!! 

father bill: Stanley Uris So Help Me God If You Mix Those Drinks,,,

mother hen: Alright okay! Don't worry I didn't!

mother hen: I just feel like such a failure and I really need a good grade on this thing. 

mother hen: I am All Panic and No Disco.

bitch boy has taken a screenshot

mother hen: Ugh. 

mother hen has muted the chat

bevvie: im worried for him,,, :( 

wheezy: he'll be okay... i'll text him & make sure he gets to sleep alright bev! 

bevvie: thank you <3 i gotta jet now, guys! gn loves!!

father bill: Goodnight Ex-Wife <3

bitch boy: goodnight current wife <3

wheezy: 1) what the fuck B) goodnight bev!! <3

bevvie: ..... "1) B)" eddie i think u need to get some sleep too

bevvie has muted the chat

bitch boy: hjsksshjdk 

father bill: Richard Tozier Turn Off The Goddamn Music Or I Swear On Georgie's Life I Will Rip That Door Off It's Fucking Hinges.

wheezy: babe im scared

bitch boy: alexa please turn off "sloppy bitch hours" im begging you oh god i can hear his massive feet thundering down the hall,,,

wheezy: i'm divorcing you for that entire message my eyes are bleeding,,, 

father bill has taken a screenshot

father bill: ... 

father bill: "Sloppy Bitch Hours"

bitch boy: i have NO SHAME

father bill: HJSHSKSKSLAMAHAK

wheezy: thats the ugliest keyboard smash ive ever seen

father bill: I THINK I'M ENTITLED TO IT CONSIDERING RICHIE'S PLAYING THE FUCKING ICARLY THEME SONG AT FULL VOLUME

father bill: YOU'RE MAKING A GRAVE MISTAKE YOU FUCKING MUSKRAT

wheezy: wh-

bitch boy: OH, CANT GET THE DOOR OPEN CAN YOU

bitch boy: GUESS WHO HACKED INTO YOUR AMAZON ACCOUNT AND ORDERED TWO SHIPMENTS OF FLEX TAPE B I T C H

wheezy: what the hell is happening im genuinely afraid,,, 

yikes-its-mike: i came as soon as i heard!! 

yikes-its-mike: bill please don't kill richie!

father bill: I CAN'T GET THE DOOR OPEN BUT I SURE AS HELL CAN GET IN THROUGH THE WINDOW!!

bitch boy: hwHAT

yikes-its-mike: everyone just slow down!!! what is Happening!!!!

bitch boy: BILL IM BEGGING YOU DONT KILL ME I STOPPED IT I STOPPED THE SONG HEJSNSHSJ

wheezy has taken a screenshot

bitch boy: F U C K

father bill: Mission Accomplished.

\--

existence is a prison, 8:23 a.m.

bennyboy: ...... 

bennyboy: so i missed a lot last night!

mother hen has unmuted the chat

mother hen: I'm Die.

bevvie has unmuted the chat

bevvie: i scrolled through all of this at breakfast this morning and LOST IT thank u richie and bill for that Quality Entertainment

bitch boy: always happy 2 provide for my lovely wife <333

wheezy: Am I A Joek To You?

wheezy: wait n o

father bill: Joek

mother hen: Joek.

bevvie: joek

bitch boy: joek

yikes-its-mike: joek! 

wheezy: none of u can see it but i'm flipping u all off rn

father bill: Eddie Is Corrupt... Bring Soft Eddie Back! 

wheezy: no, you communist whore

bevvie: HSJSBKSK W H A T

bitch boy: hehjsjkdk HOLY SHIT i can explain,,,

bitch boy: so the other day bill kept telling everyone to "seize the means of production" bc he thought it was a capitalist motto or some shit

father bill: I Dozed Off In APUSH And Misheard Mr. Peters!!! Not My Fault!!!

bevvie: HOW DO YOU MIX UP POLAR OPPOSITE PROPAGANDA BILL SHSNSJ

bitch boy: so he hejsjsk goes up to georgie when we get home and teaches it to him & georgie looks it up and finds out what communism is and prints out the flag and now it's on his bedroom door

bevvie: IM GENUINELY CRYING ON THE BUS HSJSKSK

bitch boy: its true she is 

bitch boy: cryingbevbev.jpeg

bennyboy: oh my..... that's...... bill, why

father bill: I've Been Trying To Convince Him To Remove The Sign But Every Time I Say "Let's Not Keep That On The Door Buddy" He Says "You're Oppressing Me And My Belief System, Boomer" Please Help Me.

mother hen: Jesus Christ...

bitch boy: staniel youre jewish

mother hen: "StAnIeL yOu'Re JeWisH" Shut the Fuck up, Richie. 

bevvie: HHHHH

bevvie: SPOEAKING of richie,,, 

father bill: Spoeaking...

bevvie: I KNOW

bevvie: YOU SEE

bevvie: SOMEHOW THE WORLD WILL CHANGE FOR ME

bitch boy: AND BE SO WONDERFULLL!

mother hen has muted the chat

bitch boy: (FUCK)

bevvie: LIVE LIFE

bitch boy: WHEEZE AIR

wheezy: i KNOW that's not the right line richie >:/ 

bevvie: I KNOW SOMEHOW WERE GONNA GET THERE,

bitch boy: AND BE SO WONDERFULLL!

father bill has removed bitch boy from the chat

wheezy: hate crime!

father bill has removed bevvie from the chat

wheezy: DOUBLE hate crime!! 

father bill: Lock Me Up. I'm Sick Of That Song And It's Optimist Agenda.

yikes-its-mike: bill really said cynic rights... don't know how i feel abt that 

mother hen has unmuted the chat

mother hen: CYNIC RIGHTS YOU COWARDS

mother hen has muted the chat

yikes-its-mike: stan really is being the rarest cryptid today... i hope he's okay :( 

father bill: Yeah. I Think He's Just Really Stressed Right Now.

yikes-its-mike: yeah... aren't we all lol

father bill: ...

yikes-its-mike: [peaceful silence]

father bill: [Peaceful Silence]

wheezy: alright i cant fucking take this tranquility,,

father bill: Edward No

wheezy has added bevvie to the chat

wheezy has added bitch boy to the chat

bitch boy: MY BABY COMES THRU XX

wheezy: you're on thin freaking ice, idiots

bevvie: ........ iiiIIIITS ALLLL FOR REEEEAAAALLLLLL,,, IM

bitch boy: TELLIN YOU JUST HOW I FEE-EEL SOOOOO

bevvie: waKE UP,, THE MEMBERS OF,, MY NATIONNN

father bill has blocked bevvie

father bill has blocked bitch boy

father bill: Y'all Hear Something?

bevvie: i think he blocked us!

bitch boy: really?? say something mean about stan if he reacts he hasnt blocked us

bevvie: (i'm sorry staniel i love u to pieces and i love ur bird sighting updates but we need to do this for Science) STAN'S BIRD SIGHTING UPDATES ARE OVERHYPED WITHIN OUR FRIEND GROUP  
wheezy: he blocked both of u clowns

bevvie: oh good!!! 

wheezy: hsjsksksl

\--

existence is a prison, 12:04 p.m.

mother hen: Guess who just nailed their APUSH DBQ Essay?!! 

bevvie: YES HONEY I KNEW YOUCOULD DO IT!!!!!!!!

mother hen: 95, BITCHES!!!

wheezy: god this is so pure @bill unblock bev and chee so u can get the full Praising Stan experience 

father bill: Fine, But I'll Have Everyone Know Beforehand That The Only Reason I'm Doing This Is Because I Want To See Richie Compliment Stan. 

father bill has unblocked bevvie

father bill has unblocked bitch boy

father bill: Hate Crime Redacted

bevvie: THE BETRAYAL,,,,, THE P A I N 

wheezy: "heblockedyou""good".jpeg

father bill: Oh Really??? Interesting. 

bitch boy: IM PROUD OF U STAN THE MAN!!! <3

mother hen: Thanks, Rich :')

father bill: GHDJKDHSK

father bill: Also!!! Good Job Stanley!!! We Love You & We're Proud Of You!!!!

bevvie: weewoo weewoo im the gay police and immtalking into my walkie talkie weewoo weewoo boys weve got ourselves a code Gay

bitch boy: shes high rn 

father bill: Explains A Lot...

bevvie: beep beep richue!!! 

wheezy: RICHUE

mother hen: Richue.

father bill: Richue

yikes-its-mike: 1) yay stan!!! <3 2) richue

bennyboy: richue

bevvie: ssssSSSSSTOOOOPPPPPPP

\--

eds >> trashmouth, 3:02 p.m.

eds: you settling in at bill's okay?? <3

trashmouth: yeah, im doing really good actually

trashmouth: miss living close enough to bike to yours at night though <3

eds: chee... have the nightmares been bad still? 

trashmouth: dont worry about me, im doing fine eddie spaghetti! really :)

eds: baby

eds: please don't lie 

trashmouth: i mean

trashmouth: they arent happening every night but its pretty bad... but i can handle it, its all okay. im good! better than ive ever been at home. im okay eddie, really. 

eds: if you ever need me, just call, rich <3

trashmouth: got it, eds <3 thank you for checking up on me. 

\--

spaghettihead >> billy

spaghettihead: this might sound weird but richie's having nightmares again and i'm worried and i really need you to start checking on him at night

spaghettihead: they get really bad, bill

spaghettihead: and he used to be able to just bike over to my house but now that he's living with you that's impossible

spaghettihead: just please please keep an eye on him for me, i'll owe you one

billy: Hey, I just got these. Of course I'll check on him at night, don't worry about that, Eddie.

billy: You're really anxious about this, huh?

spaghettihead: sometimes he has panic attacks and if he's alone and has one... i just can't think about him in pain alone like that, just trying to be quiet so he doesn't wake up you or georgie. it hurts.

billy: Fuck, Eds. I'm sorry. Of course I'll check on him. Of course I will. 

spaghettihead: thank you <333

billy: Don't sweat it, bud. 

\--

existence is a prison, 4:35 p.m.

bevvie: georgie just called me & invited me to his "underground communist revival club" what do i do what do i dO


End file.
